When Is It Safe to "Opt Out" of Spam?

But there are some cases when it's effective. Here's how to know when it is.

Of course, why should you have to beg them to stop sending mail you didn't ask for? But if you can't stand it anymore, the best way to tell if they'll honor your request is:

1) Does the spam come from a real address? (Like list@companyname.com, not like 23r8g4@yahoo.com)

2) Does it come from the same address each time?

3) Are the opt-out instructions the same every time?

If the answer to #1 is yes, and either #2 or #3 is yes, it's probably safe to follow the directions to opt out. After all, it's quite possible you did request the mail, and simply forgot about it.

Should You File a Complaint?

Probably not. I do not think complaining helps. Spam victims have complained a lot, and for a long time, but the complaints really don't do anything to stop spam. Worse, because spammers are pretty good at hiding their tracks and using fake addresses (or, much worse, real addresses belonging to innocent bystanders), it's sometimes very difficult to track down the real culprit. There's only one thing worse than spam: accusing the wrong person of doing it!

If you want to complain anyway, learn how to "reveal full headers" on your mailing software. Most e-mail software normally only shows the basics -- the "To", "From", "Subject", etc. headers. That's not where the real information is: "extended" headers show the servers the message was routed through. So even if "spammer@aol.com" is shown on the "From" line as the sender, the advertiser may not only have not sent the message from AOL, he probably never even had an account there. By revealing the full headers, you can see, in the vast majority of cases, where the message really came from. Very often, they're simply relayed through foreign servers where laws are lax, where providers are happy to take money from spammers to send their mail, or where technicians aren't savvy enough to know how to protect their servers from spammers who want to steal their resources.

If you really want to complain, you should forward the message with those full routing headers to the first server provider that handled the message, saying politely that you don't want such mail. What specific address? Abuse@[domain]. If that bounces, you'll have to hunt down a real address. The better ISPs have an abuse address; if they don't, you should encourage them to implement one. Don't complain directly to the spammers; remember: they truly don't care that you are irritated, and they could just mark your address down as "good" and thus worthy of more spam.

There are services that help you complain. I have tried some of them, but found I got very few positive responses from the people I complained to. They do a pretty good job of tracking the origin of the spam if you feed them the full routing headers. However, I got far more responses from spammer ISPs when I sent a complaint manually. Many ISPs throw out automated complaints without looking at them, in part because most of them hide your identity -- few ISPs will take action on anonymous complaints, nor should they.

Important! If you did ask for the mail (such as signing up for an e-mail newsletter), do not report the mailer as a spammer when you decide you don't want it anymore! By signing up for the mail, you made it your responsibility to follow their directions for leaving the mailing list. Reporting a legitimate mailer as a spammer is an obscene abuse of their good names. Such complaints also send a very clear message, which is people who complain about spam are clueless idiots who don't know the difference between mail they asked for and spam, which just encourages ISPs to give up and not do anything about any complaints. Save your complaints for real spam, and make sure you are sending your complaints about the right people to the right people.

The bottom line: it's very difficult to stop this kind of junk e-mail advertising, but if we all refuse to do business with spammers, we can make a difference in the long run. Meanwhile, the U.S. Federal government has stepped into spam regulation.

Next Topic: Why the Federal CAN-SPAM Law Didn't Help